I’m going to be dead honest with you guys. I haven’t been thrilled about a Transformers film since the 2nd film, Revenge of the Fallen. I didn’t watch Dark of the Moon in Theaters nor did I watch Age of Extinction beyond watching them after the fact. I saw Dark of the Moon on Netflix back when it was on there, and just so happen to get a copy free from my brother of Extinction. I’ve always been a fan of the toys, having collected them for years.
There was a time, however, when I thought that maybe Last Knight could be something special, even after seeing the first trailer which I reacted too I recall my thoughts not being too thrilled and I know I called it out that the planet coming at Earth was the biggest threat ever in Transformer history; Unicron. I’m going to tell you how much I was wrong and for that, to anyone who just so happen to pay to see this film, I am truly sorry.
No Spoiler-Free Review
Generally, when I write reviews of new movies I try to keep things as spoiler-free as I can, but I can’t review this film without spoiling some of the plot and characters without it. So to anyone who really wants to see the 5th film of Transformers without being spoiled, I will say go watch the trailers and TV spots because you pretty much see the whole film. Other than some non-sense talking that went on for a good hour of the film.
With that being said, let’s get into the review.
Transformers the Last Knight Shits on the Lore
That is a true understatement when I say that this film sucks really bad. Not only does it just not seem to care about what it’s tossing at you on screen, the plot of the film itself seems to just not make any sense but it even breaks not just the lore of the series itself but also shits on it. I’m going to run the whole movie does for you. To do this I need to go all the way back to the first film which I still feel is the best even with its flaws.
In the first film, the Transformers come to Earth searching for the Cube which we’re told in the film is the source of power that can bring life back to Cybertron.
In Revenge of the Fallen, we’re told that in 17,000 B.C., the Seven Primes travel the galaxy to create Energon with star-absorbing machines named Sun Harvesters. One of them betrays them and builds one on Earth (which was forbidden).
In Dark of the Moon, we’re told that in 1961, the “Ark”, a Cybertronian spacecraft carrying an invention capable of ending the war crash lands on the dark side of Earth’s Moon.
In Extinction, we’re told that sixty-five million years ago, an alien race known as the “Creators” used devices called Seeds to terraform Planet Earth, covering it with an alloy called Transformium.
The Last Knight’s Plot Makes no Sense
Now that brings us to this film’s plot which is Planet Earth itself is, by all means, the monster known as Unicron. That is right, the transforming planet eater you all remember from the animated Transformers film from the 1980s is, in fact, Earth itself. They also tell us that the reason Transformers keep coming to Earth. Even if they aren’t aware of it. We’re told that 12 knights betrayed someone named Quintessa who we are made to believe is the said “Creators” spoken of in the last film.
This is where the film lost me, because she turns Prime Evil with some touch to his cheek, making him rename himself Nemesis Prime, to which we hardly see because he’s on Cybertron that is making it’s way to Earth now to suck the power and life from because doing so will bring life back to Cybertron and kill Earth which is Unicron mind you.
Again, it seems that “Unicron” awakens when Cybertron gets near with the showing of large spikes coming out of the ground at four different points around Earth. There meaning to the plot is nothing more than to remind us of the fact Earth is really another Cybertron like planet. I guess this can make some sense given we’re told in Extinction that at the age of the dinosaurs the “Creators” turn Earth into Unicron to start with when they used the seed to terraform it.
It could explain why the seven primes had no idea. But still, the whole reason they came to Earth in the first film was that of the Cube. More came to help fight because Prime called for all Autobots to come to Earth. This, of course, is gonna lead others to Earth as well. But here is the plot hole.
How the hell was Cybertron a whole planet again?
This is where they lost me again, in Dark of the Moon Sentinel Prime used the pillars that were on the ship they found on the Ark that would summon Cybertron to Earth so they could use humans as slaves to rebuild Cybertron. In that final fight, Prime destroyed the pillar which caused half of Cybertron to be chop in half, which of course they never explained what happens to that part of Cybertron and even so like this film the laws of physics are out the window because if something that big got close to Earth it would cause massive weather changes that would destroy all life anyways.
What I find funny is the whole logic of this film is just so out there even for Transformers, because we see Quintessa as a bad guy, she took control of Prime but how strong was she? I mean one hit by BumbleBee and she was dead, even know they didn’t even check to make sure. But wait, it only took BumbleBee finally speaking to Prime, hearing his voice since the fall of their home snap him out of it. Only then for Prime to disappear for about 25mins from the film, the heck was he? I mean I know they wanted to make that epic entry way of him coming in and kicking ass, but the last 30 mins of the film are so out there and over the top, it was hard to really even enjoy.
They are just Action Films Plot doesn’t matter
You are right, I’m thinking far too much into this. I mean these films make millions each time, they are marketed not to us, the US but to those oversea. Hell, I don’t even think the film even takes place in the US really very long and they always seem to now take place in other places. Which is fine, I mean it’s nice to see that not everything that is “world ending” takes place in America. But we all know it’s just marketing and if they are trying to market these movies to just sell toys well I have news for you.
The toys are not great.
No, they are sometimes bad. I went ahead and did pick up some of the first waves. Of course, Bumblebee, Prime, and Barricade. I did want to pick up Megatron when he’s released but I think that is pretty much it. The ones they released were not great. Prime is just a reprint of the last film’s toy which that version I didn’t get, so that’s fine. The others are just sort of blah really.
I did like the design of Megatron in the film, they made him look like a sort of Knight. I thought they would do more this time with him, but nope, he had limited screen time and was only used as a way to move the plot than to be any sort of real threat. One blast to the face and Megatron was out the side of the ship and that was all she wrote.
What REALLY bothered me was the fact that in the last film he was Galvatron. How the heck? The human-made Transformers did this liquid metal transformation which I hated. I was totally fine with Megatron not calling himself Galvatron due to the humans giving him that name. It was a total waste mind you of the name. But how did he go back to just transforming normally?
The Human roles
Yup, as you notice I haven’t talked about the human characters, yeah most of the film was them like always but it was such a poorly done script and the way it was done was so bad I can’t even talk about it. Even the jokes just fell flat this time, I was really disappointed with the film across the board. The whole Earth being Unicron made no sense, it opened up so many questions it was just stupid. Would it had really been easier if it was just Unicron who created the Transformers? Does it break the lore? Yes but so what, this is a different universe than the cartoons so it’s okay.
The problem is they seem to just take things and toss them about and waste them. It could have been something really cool, having Unicron showing up to eat Earth because it had you know Transformium on the planet? Maybe when Prime showed up he found that Cybertron was being eaten by him.
When Prime went to face him and stop him, then you have the character Quintessa show up and that is sort of say Unicron’s mind or something and he takes control and reformats Prime into Nemesis Prime, sort of a role reversal from the film. You could have had Hot Rod play into this, and done a while ark of Hot Rod defeating Nemesis Prime and taking the power of the Primes, even if it was just a temporary thing and becoming Rodimus Prime to lend them to stop Quintessa.
There was so much they could have done with Mark Wahlberg character, given they made him “the last knight” the whole thing with that was sort of tossed out the window once he turned the object he had on him into a sword, which told the 12 knights to stand down and they now listen to Prime. It would have been cooler had they done something else with that.
Miss chances at something great
I could go on and on how they could have done this, but at that point, it’s a whole other film which all of them really could have been great films and we would have something amazing. It would still make billions, it would be it’s own little universe like they want to make it. But for whatever reason they let a hack director named Michael Bay keep on making them.
Granted I will give him the respect that the studio didn’t want to put any more money into the CGI for the transformers but Michael Bay let them keep his money for directing in order to give them more money for the bots and they look freaking amazing. Beyond that, he’s a great action director and he has made some great films. But it’s all about money now to him. He has no creative feeling to these films nor does I believe he cares.
At this point I want a freaking reboot of the films, start over make it three films and build it on one story, each being a chapter. Like Lord of the Rings or if you wanna go more films, even could do it like the MCU, do spin-offs that all sort of tie in together and focus on the robots. Can we get that? They are called Transformers damn. I can understand the first one being more human focused, but once they are revealed to us, the viewers we could get more of them huh?
Overall, Transformers the Last Knight sucks, it’s the worst of them and I just hope that the stupid finally wakes up and cancels the next one they have planned and start over, give us 3-5 years maybe to forget about these films and start over. You don’t have to follow the cartoon lore, make new lore, but at least if you do keep to your own lore and don’t just change it because where you just make fans rub their heads.
There is a ton of stuff I didn’t cover, but I’m planning on covering them in more detail later, for now, avoid going to see Transformers the Last Knight and wait for it to show up on Netflix or download it. Seriously not worth your money.